


All Along

by deawrites



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Adult Content, Adultery, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Cheating, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 13:58:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11106006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deawrites/pseuds/deawrites
Summary: Harvey never thought he could have Jim so he becomes engaged to Scottie. But what if he could have Jim?





	All Along

**Author's Note:**

> Sequences from S2x1 and S2x2 referenced. All dialogue from S2x2 Knock, Knock in italics. 
> 
> All mistakes are my own, but please let me know if you find any so I can fix them. All comments, criticisms, kudos, suggestions welcome.
> 
> To my wife whom I would never cheat on. I love you!

**All Along**

Civilian life was good to Harvey. It was as he had told Jim that day in the bar, he had a life. He had stopped drinking, started sleeping, lived in a house and was engaged to a woman that loved him. What more could he possibly need? Every time he thought of that question he got a little hollower inside. Every time he thought of Jim Gordon it wasn’t the GCPD, or being Jim’s partner he missed: it was Jim.  For so long Jim had been everything to him, his reason for breathing, his single mission to keep the man alive and breathing; to guide and support him through every improbable event that he faced. Jim was his best friend, his brother, his partner and most of all, the person Harvey loved most in the world.

 

Even now.

 

Seeing him at the bar, defeated and disillusioned; longing for Harvey to walk out of the building by his side and back in to the destructive maw of policing Gotham, had bruised his soul. While Harvey loved being a cop he didn’t believe that he was born into the job; it wasn’t as much of a calling as it was a choice. And he had turned away from it and with the pressure off his shoulders he blossomed. He found out there was more to the world than just police work. There was color and liveliness, celebration and love; a sharp contrast to the grays, blacks and death Harvey saw every day as a detective. The worst of humanity paraded before him in an endless stream, while he stood just on the opposite side of the fence from those that truly were living.

 

If he hadn’t been busted down to traffic by commissioner Lobe, Harvey knew he would still be a cop; still be Jim’s partner and still be trudging along in the dark waters of Gotham’s crime. Yet he had, and Harvey had resigned rather than to suffer that indignity. He wasn’t a young man anymore and the physicality of the job would have been far too much for him before long. Civilian life was better. He could work at the bar, spend time with Scottie, even read a damn book if he wanted too. It was all possible now that he was finished with the GCPD, and to some extent Jim. Jim was too busy to come around the bar much, or call, or text. He had managed to find his way up from traffic back to his detective grade and was currently running like the lone wolf he professed to be. By Harvey’s estimation Jim worked better with a partner, someone to temper him and keep him breathing; this much Harvey knew but it wasn’t his place to say.  Therefore, civilian life truly meant that Harvey had to start from scratch and build an existence and place people in it. He had to make different friends, and re-cultivate the existing ones he had managed over the years. He needed different interests, new goals and completely dissimilar life style. He needed change and certainly his resigning had brought that. The nightmares had stopped but not the worry. He thought of Jim every day and fretted over his memory hoping that telepathically he could influence the man to take care of himself.

 

The first time he had seen Jim in the bar he looked a little thin and there had been dark circles underneath his bloodshot eyes. He knew case fatigue when he saw it. All the same Jim had praised Harvey for his success, told him he was proud of him, called him brother and left, only partially swaying in his gate from drink. Drinks that Harvey had plied him with even after telling him to slow down. Because the more alcohol Jim had in his system the more likely he was to fall asleep and wake up ravenous. Harvey had watched him go, feeling like he had lost a core part of him when the door shut behind Jim. It physically hurt to watch him leave and yet Harvey had endured the pain, to remind himself how he didn’t live any longer.

 

The next time Harvey had seen Jim he looked slightly better, yet still a little on the thin side; and he had asked for Harvey to return to the GCPD for him. Not for the city, but for him. Harvey was aware of the fundamental difference. Scottie had shut that conversation down as quickly as she was able to and charged Jim right out of the bar and onto the street. She was open with her emotions and her anger towards and bitterness of Jim and the job flashed behind her gaze, etched clearly upon her features. She had turned to Harvey next and he knew that warning look; so, he said nothing, merely smiled and gave her what he hoped was a reassuring hug. She relaxed, yet he tensed after she left, his smile fading.

 

Harvey texted Jim immediately after she returned to the back. Jim was at a stop light when he felt his phone vibrate and he checked the screen and it read:

 

‘Meet me at 6 tonight in front of the Catholic church on 6th. It’s important.’

 

Jim frowned then smiled a little. Perhaps Harvey was coming back after all and just needed to do some convincing before he put his shield back on. Jim quickly typed:

 

‘Copy. c u then.’

 

It didn’t surprise Harvey in the least that he was the first one to arrive at the designated meeting place. Jim after all was working and that took precedent over everything and everyone in his life. If you could live with that, you could be a part of Jim Gordon’s world.  Harvey rounded his shoulders to reposition his leather coat and checked his wrist watch; ten after six. He ended up waiting until about six-thirty when Jim finally showed up. By then he was grumpy, impatient and a little cold. Yet surprise, surprise Jim had brought hot coffee with him and handed one to Harvey as they stood by Jim’s police issued car and Jim stated a litany of excuses as to why he was late. Harvey held up a hand to silence him.

 

“I remember Jim. You don’t have to justify it to me.”

 

Relief swept across Jim’s features and his manner seemed light and almost joyful. “I know. Thanks Harvey. What is it you needed to talk to me about?”

 

“Scottie was pretty rough on you back at the bar.”

 

At her mention Jim tensed noticeably. “You could say that. But she’s your fiancé, huh? I really meant it when I said congratulations. I think that’s a big step and you deserve to be happy, Harvey.”

 

But he wasn’t; not completely. And it would be ludicrous of him to believe that Jim could see that in his eyes as he stared into them right at that moment. Harvey nodded and shoved one hand into his coat pocket and the other he wiped nonexistent perspiration from his face. “I should have told you; come to you first about the ring and all.” He sighed heavily; visibly; and searched Jim’s features. “But I knew you’d be too busy with work- “

 

“Hey!” Jim silenced placing a hand upon Harvey’s shoulder. “I’m never too busy for you. Understand? All you have to do is reach out. I’m here for you, Brother.”

 

Agony etched Harvey’s features.“No.” He barely stated above a whisper. “You’re not. Not the way I **need** you to be.”

 

Confusion narrowed Jim’s beautiful, blue eyes. “What? What do you mean?”

 

“You know **exactly** what I mean.” Harvey defended gently removing Jim’s hand from his shoulder and taking a hold of it in his own. “You can’t be this blind Jim. I mean, yeah; but not with this. Not after so long of me making a fool outta myself over you.”

 

Jim’s lips pursed in determination. “You’re not a fool Harvey.”

 

“Aren’t I?” The demand was not plaintive but challenging in its arrival. Harvey threw his coffee; complete with cup; into the gutter. “You don’t think nearly three years of mooning over someone that doesn’t give a toss in return isn’t just a _little_ bit on the ridiculous side?”

 

Jim’s nostrils flared as his chest rose and shoulders rounded back.  “That’s not true. I **do** care, Harvey. I care very much. I just,” Jim faltered and motioned with a hand, his gaze severing from Harvey’s for a few seconds as he groped for the words he felt most appropriate. “If anything were to happen to end us,” He motioned to himself and Harvey. “what we have here? I couldn’t forgive myself. You’re the best, truest, only dependable relationship I’ve ever had. I can’t risk losing you.”

 

Harvey frowned and shook his head, eyes pricking with excess moisture. “Your stupid son of a bitch.” He pulled his hand from Jim’s and took him by the lapels of his coat, their gazes locking, his teeth baring. “Nothing, not being lovers, being lovers? **Nothing** would get me to abandon you Jim. Don’t you understand that by now? I’m in this for **life**. No matter where you go, what you do, who you’re with, I’m here. _With._ You.” Harvey’s expression pleaded, his eyes begging silently with all the adoration he felt for the man before him. “Take the chance, Jim. Take **me**.”

 

Jim tossed his own coffee and cup into the gutter. He then gently placed his hands upon Harvey’s and a few tears fell from his eyes the rest stuck in his lashes or pooling at the corners of his eyes. “No.” He whispered though Harvey heard him loud and clear. “I can’t.”

 

Harvey nodded once and pulled his hands out from underneath Jim’s, shoved them in his coat pockets and said, “Scottie thinks I’m at the AA meeting at the church.” He jutted his chin in indication of the building. “I should get inside.”

 

“Don’t.” Jim stated reaching out with a hand and taking Harvey by one elbow. “Let’s go to my place, talk a little. Please?”

 

Harvey merely nodded unable to deny Jim anything. They took Jim’s car and before long Harvey was sipping coffee as Jim felt strange offering him a beer. Harvey would have normally welcomed the alcohol, something far stronger, but vulnerable as he was now, he needed to keep his wits about him. After a few minutes of silence, he asked the most loaded question he had ever directed at Jim.

 

“Why?”

 

Jim knew exactly what Harvey was referring to. “I told you. I’m afraid. Afraid of poisoning what we have.” He watched Harvey’s head hang forward and it pained him immensely to see. He reached out with a hand and raised Harvey’s chin with his fingertips. “I’m a coward.” He barely spoke and Harvey continued to stare at him, and under the scrutiny of his gaze Jim’s expression was tender and he stroked his fingers up Harvey’s left cheek until he could push red hair back behind Harvey’s ear.  “All I do is hurt you.”

 

“That’s not true, Jim.” Harvey whispered back placing a hand on the nape of Jim’s neck. He pulled him forward until their foreheads were touching, Jim’s hand wrapped in his hair, the heat of Harvey’s hand absorbing that of Jim’s neck. Their gazes locked, “I love you.”

 

Jim’s heart was racing, his body felt as if it were trembling and he gasped on the intake of air, saw Harvey’s pupils dilate and Jim pressed their mouths together, closing the last of the distance that separated them. He could do this; Harvey had promised that he would never abandon him; Harvey loved him and what was Jim really hiding from? A possibility that may never materialize? Or his own fear of getting hurt again? He tasted a faint trace of coffee upon Harvey’s lips but further still his own unique favor.  He could do this; he **would** do this; he owed this to Harvey if not himself as well. Didn’t he?

 

While the brush of lips had surprised Harvey the sentiment behind it didn’t. He first believed that was all that would pass between them, but when he felt Jim’s lips part he knew; just knew what that symbolized. He pushed forward, his opposite hand cradling Jim’s cheek, the other pulling him forward and holding him still. Harvey’s tongue surged forward and was immediately met by Jim’s confident exploration. The kiss evolved, broke and reformed until both men were breathless and once more their foreheads were touching.

 

“Are you sure?” Harvey had to ask, he couldn’t let Jim betray himself.

 

“Yes.” Jim assured petting a hand through Harvey’s hair. “We’ll do this. Yeah?”

 

“Yeah.” Harvey whispered before moving to initiate another kiss and willingly Jim followed.

 

An hour and a half later Harvey was making excuses to Scottie why he was nearly an hour late coming home from the meeting. It was easy enough to lie to her, tell her another person trapped him in a conversation and he genuinely wanted to help. Never mind that he felt guilty after the lie was done, but the taste of Jim, his kiss; lingered and Harvey found that he couldn’t care too much. He wouldn’t trade what they had done for the world; even if it meant temporarily lying to his fiancé. He took a shower out of curtesy just as much as protection, but held Scottie close when they got into bed for the night. He stroked out her long, red hair and listened to her chat gently to him about something at the bar. He was only half listening, his thoughts swirling and body longing for the next time he could be around Jim. The thought made him shiver with excitement and Scottie tucked the bedclothes further around him misunderstanding.

 

Once Scottie was asleep and Harvey had untangled himself from her and rolled his back to her, he grabbed for his phone and texted Jim: ‘Can’t stop thinking about you.’

 

Seconds later Jim’s response came: ‘Can’t stop tasting you.’ Then just after that the separate message of, ‘Miss you.’

 

‘I need to see you tomorrow. When?’

 

‘Can you excuse yourself for longer than an hour this time?’

 

‘Yes. If it’s early evening. 7/8, I can leave before midnight.’

 

‘What are you going to tell her?’

 

‘Does it matter?’

 

‘No. Just curious.’

 

‘A buddy of mine needs help tiling his bathroom floor before the weekend. Mother-in-law coming. Does that meet your approval?’

 

‘LoL Should I pick up any grout at the store? Can you be at mine at 7?’

 

‘Yes. I’ve missed you so much having to wait to see you now is killing me.’

 

‘Dead men get no sex.’ Jim teased following with, ‘It’s killing me too. I was the fool, you never were.’

 

‘Jim Gordon admitting he made a mistake? Is this the Twilight Zone?’

 

‘I’m hoping it’s real. I need it to be real.’

 

‘It’s real. Good night Jim. I love you.’

 

‘Love you back. Sweet dreams.’

 

Harvey lay in the darkness for several minutes and happily reread the conversation on his phone. He deleted it with a heavy heart and ran a hand down his face before placing the phone back on the night stand.  He closed his eyes and lived for the time when he would be with Jim once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim was laughing: giggling and cackling like a child again. The city was falling apart, being taken over by an unpredictable and violent gang called The Maniax; but Jim Gordon was _happy_. As hyper focused on work as he was, Jim permitted part of himself to exist in a dream world that he and Harvey carefully constructed. A world where they were together and Maniax, fiancé’s and fear didn’t exist.  He felt light when he was with his former partner; loved and accepted. He felt for the first time that his apartment was a home and he had Harvey to thank for that. The time they spent together might be short in duration, yet it was numerous as they could manage and always satisfying. Jim had never had so much sex or intensity of emotion in his life. He had loved Barbara, thought he was falling in love with Lee, but this? What he shared with Harvey was so much more than what he had once perceived as love.

 

He would not ask Harvey to return to the GCPD, nor leave Scottie Mullens for him; he would place no expectation upon the older male’s shoulders and just allow him to be. He owed Harvey so much and the least he could do was not apply external pressure to him now that he was finally happy. They discussed it often, Jim praising Harvey’s newly constructed life, reinforcing how good he looked, how he deserved only the best. Harvey would always blush and try to change the subject and Jim would allow him too once he felt all that needed to be said was addressed. Everything he shared with Harvey as a partner still existed and now had become much more profound. He spilled secrets and shames to Harvey in droves. He spoke of his temper and darkness, his childhood, his dreams, and never once did the other man recoil from him. True to his word it didn’t matter what Jim said, just as long as he kept talking.  In turn Harvey shared his own depths without withholding any longer. He lay himself completely bare and was rewarded with Jim’s gentle touch, tender affections and adoring sympathies. Acceptance: that was what the two gave one another: complete, nonjudgmental, acceptance.

 

Jim laughed, his face reddening and he reached for Harvey to pull him down beside him on the bed. They were completely dressed, neither in a suit; and Jim ran his hands through Harvey’s hair. “You’re awful.” He teased in regard to the story Harvey had been regaling him with just moments prior.

 

“I was only telling the truth. It’s not my fault Mrs. Burkenstien couldn’t take it. I’m wasn’t the keeper of cats in our old tenement, that was _her_ job.”

 

“Still,” Jim paused and leaned up to kiss Harvey sweetly. “you’re a bit of a dick.”

 

“Mmmm I thought you liked my dick.” Harvey replied and pressed his hips against Jim as much as possible. “You sure do suck it often enough.”

 

“Never. Again.” Jim’s smile was wide and he searched Harvey’s features before leaning up once more to kiss him.  When their kiss finally severed Jim’s smile returned, and he slid a hand down Harvey’s chest until he reached his pelvis and he cupped him, thumb scrapping along the zipper. “Unless we’re talking about right this second, then yes; I’m going to suck it.”

 

Harvey chuckled against Jim’s lips and kissed him again before making eye contact. “No way Junior. It’s my turn now.” He pressed a hand to Jim’s right hip and pulled himself further up the bed. “Now either get up here more or turn around because this is happening.”

 

“I love it when you get demanding.” Jim chided sensually. He thrust his hips up towards Harvey. “You always give the best orders to follow.”

 

“Is that so?” Harvey unfastened Jim’s jeans and pulled the zipper down still holding eye contact as he didn’t make to move down his lover’s body just yet. “How about, strip off your clothes and get on the end of the bed on all fours, facing the headboard? **Now**.”

 

Jim’s breath caught in a sharp gasp and he immediately disentangled himself from Harvey and rolled over to one side of the bed and stood. He quickly took off all his clothes leaving a pile on the floor and obeyed.

 

“Nice.” Harvey praised as he rose and moved to the end of the bed, the fingertips of his right hand stroking from the nape of Jim’s neck all the way down to his ass crack. “That’s my good Boy Scout.” He stroked a finger down between Jim’s ass cheeks, lightly brushing his hole with a fingertip. Jim shuddered and released a deep, throaty moan. “Down on your elbows, get this ass up in the air.” Harvey smacked one cheek loudly and caused Jim to flinch at the impact, a shiver running down his spine as his breathing intensified and quickened. “Good.” Harvey praised slowly lowering himself to his knees. He spread Jim’s thighs a little further apart with his hands and immediately Jim responded obeying his physical direction.

 

Jim stuttered on a moan, breath ceasing for a few seconds as he felt Harvey’s hands remain upon his thighs, thumbs parting his ass cheeks and exposing his hole. When Harvey’s lips; followed by his tongue; brushed his scrotum Jim’s eyes nearly rolled back into his head and he moaned loudly. “Oh god, Harvey, **yes**. _Please_!”

 

Harvey didn’t verbally respond and began to nip, suckle, and lave Jim’s testicles, sucking one gently into his mouth and tonguing it as he would later the younger male’s cock. Following these administrations for several minutes Harvey’s tongue extended and lapped at the bottom of Jim’s cock, teeth nipping at the base and Jim yelped in surprise and nearly choked on a moan of approval. Harvey’s thumbs began to make slow circles around Jim’s hole and applying gentle pressure to the puckered entrance. It only took seconds of this to dissolve Jim into a begging, pleading mess but Harvey took his time.  He wanted to suck Jim off in his own time and make it memorable; Jim deserved the pampering with as much as he had done for Harvey in that department.

 

Jim’s hips bucked a little and he pressed back against Harvey’s mouth and thumbs, rocking slightly. “Oh, yeah. I want you so much. Please! Whatever you want to do, just tell me and I’ll comply, I **swear**.” Jim gasped and moaned as one of Harvey’s hands slid down the length of Jim’s cock to check how wet he was at the tip with pre-cum. Jim hissed in need and bucked a little into Harvey’s hand, whining petulantly with desperation. “ _Pl_ - _eeeease_.” Jim felt like he was panting too hard and about to parish.

 

“Crawl forward.” Harvey demanded mouth detaching long enough to bark the order out. Jim instantly obeyed and Harvey lay down upon the bed beside Jim and wordlessly directed him to straddle his face. Jim’s thighs were trembling as he complied, breath coming in sharp huffs and he stretched his arms forward to rest his palms upon the wall for support. His eyes closed and his head arched backward as Harvey’s mouth blissfully closed around the head of his cock. Harvey moaned and Jim shuddered and begged Harvey to take more of him inside.

 

Two, two and a half inches inside that heated, talented mouth and Jim’s hips were stuttering until insistent hands seized them and stilled him. Fingers digging in hard enough to leave bruises if he continued to hold fast. Jim raised slightly upward and was yanked back down forcefully and he felt his spine liquify. Harvey knew what he wanted and apparently Jim was just along for the ride. The thought thrilled Jim to the core as he released control completely to the man beneath him. Harvey suckled and one of his hands slipped over one cheek of Jim’s ass seeking his hole once more. Jim hissed and dropped his head forward to watch Harvey suck him down. Watching himself disappear into the soft, heated mouth was more of a turn on than he supposed it should be, and it made him wonder what it looked like for Harvey’s cock to disappear deeply inside of him. The thought thrilled him further and made him shutter. Or perhaps it was that combined with the sensation of the pad of Harvey’s middle finger pressing hard upon his hole and breaching it just slightly.

 

With the continued pressure and pull of Harvey’s finger at his rim, and of his tongue working his cock in his heated mouth it didn’t take long for Jim’s body to seize in orgasm. His fingernails scratched into the wall and he rose and fell a little upon his legs, hovering just over Harvey’s chest as the climax hit him. He threw his head back once more and howled, Harvey’s name on the tail end of the declaration and panting, chest heaving he looked down at his lover, smiling like a lunatic up at him.  Jim couldn’t resist matching that smile and slowly climbed off Harvey and lay down beside him, throwing an arm over his chest, leg following suit below. He rested his head upon Harvey’s shoulder and was embraced as he slowly recovered from his orgasm. He stroked Harvey’s hair and then chest, picking at the cotton of the older man’s tee shirt with his fingertips before rubbing a flattened palm once more.

 

“If I could speak, I would thank you.” Jim laughed sensually and clung to Harvey. “I’m sorry I came so quickly.”

 

“Don’t. Don’t apologize.” Harvey chided tenderly placing a kiss upon Jim’s forehead. “That was incredible and you _know_ it was.”

 

Jim grinned. Oh yes; he knew. He rubbed his cheek against Harvey’s shoulder and stroked one of Harvey’s cheeks luxuriating in the scrape of his beard. “There was something about you being in complete control. Can we do that again?”

 

“Any time you want.” Harvey kissed him tenderly and gazed into Jim’s lust blown, blue eyes. “You know I’ll do anything for you.”

 

“I know.” He assured stroking Harvey’s face. He turned a little more on his side and rose so he could kiss Harvey properly. “And I’ll do anything for you.” And Harvey grinned.

 

They both knew neither of them could keep their hands or mouths to themselves for long, and it was only a matter of time before Jim caved to his desire.  Now that they had been together Jim doubted he would ever be able to go back to just a platonic relationship with Harvey. Even when Harvey married Scottie he would be in the wings waiting for Harvey to join him, and really that wasn’t such a bad life. After all, he was free to marry as well and had been dating Lee Tompkins when time permitted. Yet if he scrutinized his activities Jim would find most of his free time was spent in Harvey’s company. He was intentionally staying away from the bar where Harvey worked; and Scottie owned; just to keep suspicion away from their coupling. He knew that Harvey was more than likely to give away their pairing with how he doted on Jim whenever he was around, and therefore elected to play it safe. However, Jim failed to recognize that he was just as guilty of televising their union as Harvey was.

 

Abruptly Jim’s world changed and his dream was shattered. He had gone to see Harvey to do the one thing he promised himself he would never do; ask him to come back to the GCPD. Scottie had been there and Jim had loathed how she presumed to speak for Harvey. While he didn’t know if his distaste shown upon his features he could feel it burning in the back of his throat and all he wanted to do was to put her in her place, yet that wasn’t his job. So, he had left returned to work with a memory he wanted to wash away and to be faced by a catastrophe that would change his and Harvey’s lives irreparably: The Maniax struck their division at the core of their strength.

 

It was then that Harvey put his badge and gun back on. With Commisioner Enssen dead and several others, Harvey knew he couldn’t abandon Jim and those that he had served with for so long. He owed them, **Jim** ; everything. It was through being a detective that anything/one that had ever meant _anything_ to him came from being a cop. He would not be living if not for the job and the pathways it brought to his door. There was one now, a need to be filled and Harvey was there. For himself, but mostly for Jim.

 

Harvey stood in the doorway of Sarah Enssen’s office looking at the desk, as he said: _“She was a good woman.”_

 

 _“A good cop.”_ Jim moved towards Harvey and slowly Harvey’s gaze tracked from the desk to Jim’s stare. _“It’s good to see you, but you don’t have to do this.”_

 

_“Let’s not talk about it. We are who we are right? No use fighting it.”_

 

Jim knew he owed Harvey one last out. _“What did Scottie say?”_

 

Harvey took a deep breath and refused the last exit he knew he would ever have from being a cop; or from Jim _. “She’ll understand; or she won’t.”_

 

Harvey had a private conversation with Jim in the hushed interior of Enssen’s office once the police tape created a large X upon the door. Harvey touched the tape and then strode over to the desk, Jim watched him from where he stood before the television, news program and Ed Enygma now absent from the room.

 

“You know, they’re gonna bring someone in from the outside.” Harvey informed running his fingertips along the short length of the desk side. His gaze fell upon one of the framed pictures Sarah had of her daughter and picked it up. “They never fucking promote from within.” He met Jim’s gaze and carefully returned the picture to its rightful place. “It should be you, you know.”

 

“What?” Jim’s face flooded with confusion and surprise. “ **Me**?”

 

“Yeah, **you** Jim: Capitan.” Harvey informed nodding out towards the practically empty bull pen. “Ours is dead, the commissioner is going to be someone who hates us, but you? You should be the one in charge of the rebuilding of the department.” Harvey shook his head. “It just makes sense.”

 

“Fat chance of that.” Jim disagreed moving to stand directly before his man. He touched his hand lightly with his fingers, and instigated further eye contact. “Harvey, I want you here. You know we work the best together, just like I know you’re a cop at heart but are you sure- “

 

“Don’t.” Harvey pleaded tone soft, voice barely above a whisper. His gaze sparkled with unshed tears for his fallen friends and comrades in arms. “I asked you not to speak of it and I **meant** it.”

 

“This is bigger than just temporarily picking up a shield to help out, Harvey. This is **your** life. This is unraveling all the good you’ve done outside of these walls.”

 

“Not all of it.” Harvey snapped abruptly clutching Jim’s hand in indication of their relationship. “I know my place Jim. The rest doesn’t matter.” It did, but Jim wasn’t going to argue further as it cut Harvey when he did.

 

Instead Jim nodded twice and squeezed Harvey’s hand. He ran his thumb over the back of Harvey’s knuckles and closed the distance between them until his lips could press up near Harvey’s ear. “Together we’ll get through this. I promise you.”

 

“I know.” Harvey assured pulling their union of hands up to his stomach where Jim’s body shielded the action from potential intruder’s view. “I want to hold you so badly it’s making me shake.”

 

“I know Baby.” Jim whispered. “Me too. Let’s get through the next few hours and then we can be together. Yeah?”

 

“Yeah.” Harvey exhaled reluctantly releasing Jim’s hand and taking a step back from him for propriety’s sake.  “We will.”

 

And Jim wanted nothing more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scottie Mullens; soon to be Scottie Bullock; was frantic. She had heard about the shootings at the GCPD and recognized the outside of the building where Harvey had once worked. She immediately called his cell phone and went to voice mail. She called back four more times in a row before abandoning that and left a desperate message.

 

“Harvey Bullock, you call me back immediately. And you better be nowhere near that precinct. I’m on my way to the house and I need you to be there when I get home!” She severed the call and ushered quick orders to her subordinates, before grabbing her purse from the office and exiting the bar. She drove carefully; though quickly; and once she reached the house she knew just by looking at the façade of if that Harvey wasn’t home. Still she raced inside and to the master bedroom. Throwing open the closet door she saw the empty hanger for one of his suits and then rushed to the dresser. She yanked the top drawer open and rummaged through some belongings to discover both Harvey’s 38 and badge were missing.

 

“You stupid, stupid man!” Scottie lamented tears prickling her gaze. She grabbed her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed Harvey’s number again. It went immediately to voice mail and she cursed, this time leaving an unbuttered, nearly tearful message of, “Harvey, please call me and just let me know you’re alright. Please tell me when you’ll be home, I’m worried! I love you. Please call.” She hung up and contemplated going to the precinct herself to check on him but knew that would be unwelcome. The place would be in chaos and anyone but police personnel would be in the way.

 

An hour later Scottie received a call for her efforts and worry, short as it was. Harvey was fine, safe, and he would be home at dawn if not mid-morning to get a couple of hours of sleep and change his clothes.  Scottie promised to press one of his suits for him and spent a disquieted night tossing in bed hugging her his pillow to her chest and vacillating between the desire to strangling him and what she would say to him when he finally got home.  In truth when Harvey was released temporarily from duty he accompanied Jim home instead. The instant the apartment door closed behind them, they were in one another’s arms and embracing one another furiously.

 

“I’m all right.” Jim mumbled into Harvey’s throat even though his face was bloodied and his knuckles bruised and ribs. He trembled a little in Harvey’s embrace and gave fully into the impact of what had happened to him and the department; and what he and Harvey had both lost; on this day. For his part Harvey couldn’t let go of Jim, afraid that the younger male would disappear and be counted among the dead in the painful reality he struggled to come to terms with on his own. He kissed Jim’s forehead and once more Jim issued that he was all right.  Not one to pin up his emotions Harvey broke down, and Jim clung to him tighter as the older man cried. After some time, Jim placed his hands upon either side of Harvey’s face and instigated eye contact. “Hey,” he stroked his thumbs up Harvey’s cheek bones; “Look at me. We’re going to fix this. It’s going to be our house again, our brothers. Okay? You’ll see. I **promise** you; I’m with you every step of the way. Yeah?”

 

Harvey nodded and barely exhaled “Yeah.” in response. Staring into Jim’s eyes he witnessed all of his own vulnerability reflected in their blue depths. Compulsively Harvey leaned forward and their mouths pressed together. The kiss was frantic and messy, all control surrendered as they battled to touch one another and get to the tender flesh beneath their clothing. Harvey was certain that he heard the tearing of seams in the back of his mind but he was too far gone to care if it was his clothing or Jim’s. All that mattered was them, touching one another and being alive.

 

Hours later when he slunk into the house well after sunrise, he would be met with first relief and concern before the yelling started. Scottie was not one to withhold her emotions nor thoughts and she smacked Harvey’s arms hard and cursed him for scaring her by disappearing and not calling her back sooner. He tried to explain that the department was in utter chaos but she didn’t want to hear it. She maintained that it would take him thirty seconds to dial, tell her where he was and when he would be home. She was right; of course; but all Harvey really wanted was a hot meal, a shower and couple of hours of sleep.  The emotional roller-coaster of tragedy and then sex with Jim had left Harvey exhausted and unable to deal with a near hysterical woman who conversely berated him and blessed him for being hale and whole.

 

“Honey, _please_.” Harvey whined taking her by the biceps and holding her arm’s length from him. “I know you’re angry, you have every right to be, but can we not do this now? I only have a few hours before I have to be back at work. I need to sleep.”

 

“Work? You work at a **bar** Harvey, not the _police_ station. How could you go back there without consulting me first? We’re engaged and we need to make all major decisions **together**! Is this how you think you can treat me?”

 

“Hon; Scottie; I’m not trying to undermine you, or say your opinions aren’t important. I just need to get something to eat and catch a few Z’s, that’s all. I promise you that you will have the chance later to yell at me for going back to work like this. Now please, can we just table this for a little while?”

 

Scottie glared at him but relented and told him she would make him something to eat while he showered. Harvey thanked her and gratefully did as he was bidden. Under the spray of water he began to relax once more. He wished he was showering with Jim, the thought of the other male’s naked, warm body pressed against his own excited him. As he washed his hair he imagined it was Jim’s fingers rubbing his scalp instead. He was too wrecked from their previous sexual encounter to get hard again but he enjoyed the aftermath and smiled as he dried himself. The guilt set in when he entered the kitchen and saw the healthy, comfort food meal that Scottie had prepared for him. She sat down at the table with him and sipped tea while he ate. Periodically he would look up at her, smile or thank her for her patience and care of him. He saw his suit hanging on the door of the pantry where the ironing board and iron were kept. She had pressed it for him as promised.

 

He knew he was fortunate to have met a woman like her. She loved him and he loved her; he did; he was just not as in love with her as he was with Jim. Jim was everything while Scottie was many nice things. Sex with Jim was phenomenal and mind blowing; fulfilling; while sex with Scottie was nice and satisfying.  His conversations with her were so different than those he had with Jim; more profound with his partner than with her, even if he was telling her the exact same story. There was a connection he had with Jim that was just not there with her. It was unfair of him to keep her in his life if he was madly in love with someone else. Yet he and Jim had never fully discussed where they wanted to take their union. Harvey knew that he wanted everything with Jim, but if the younger male felt differently he would find a way to live with his decision. In a sense he knew that Scottie was settling while Jim was his soulmate, but didn’t he deserve to be happy? If he could make Scottie happy too where was the harm in remaining her fiancé?  When he was done eating Scottie sent him to the bedroom to get into bed while she cleared the dishes. It was nice to have a woman taking care of him, and he did love and appreciate her being in his life. After a few minutes, she joined him and pressed up behind him to hold him while he allowed sleep to claim him. He dreamed of Jim.

 

When Jim awoke it was to an empty bed and he found himself on his back staring up the ceiling wondering what it would be like to spend the entire night with Harvey. He was sore as hell from the beating he incurred from Barbara’s lackey and wished Harvey was present to baby him a little. He hauled himself out of bed and moved stiffly, slowly and deliberately. He conserved as much movement as he could the pain radiating out from his ribs and head to his entire body. He groaned and rose to his feet shuffling towards the bathroom. Catching his reflection in the mirror; he momentarily pondered his life. He was having an affair with an engaged man, even as he was dating someone else himself. Lee Tompkins believed; in good faith; that Jim was dating her exclusively, when he was having an affair with Harvey. He cared about Lee, could most likely fall in love with her, but what he had with Harvey was too profound to walk away from.

 

He should tell Lee that he was also ‘dating’ someone else but was it really necessary? Couldn’t Jim have one secret to himself? One good thing in his life without having to tarnish it with exposing it to the world? Didn’t he deserve what he had with Harvey? He had been searching his entire life for it and he would be damned if he would give it up just because someone he had only been dating a couple of weeks might wish him too. And as for Scottie. Jim frowned; he knew she was a nice woman; had to be if Harvey loved her; but he didn’t like her. She had seemingly had it in for him the instant they met. Perhaps they had gotten off on the wrong foot but Jim couldn’t see how. Did she sense that Jim was territorial about Harvey and there was good reason for her to take an instant dislike to him? Did she know more than Harvey believed she did?

 

Jim’s teeth ground at the memory of her speaking for Harvey. He didn’t like the idea of his man being pushed around and ruled by anyone that didn’t understand Harvey like he did. Scottie didn’t understand cops; she understood other things, like, people perhaps. Could she read in him that he found her annoying and expendable? Not that he would ever tell Harvey to break up with her. Unless she was having an affair on him; Jim was dimly aware of the irony of that thought; he would tolerate her in Harvey’s life. He had to draw the line somewhere and her not loving Harvey enough to give him all of herself was it. Jim knew he was jealous of her; the time she got to spend with Harvey; waking up with him every morning and going to sleep with him every night. Jim would do bodily violence in order to have that with the other male.

 

Jim picked up his cell phone and began a message to Harvey: ‘You awake?’

 

Two minutes later Jim received the hastily typed response: ‘What’s wrong?’

 

‘I miss you.’

 

‘I miss you too. You’re still picking me up for work?’

 

‘Affirmative. Are you still fucking me after work?’

 

‘Hells yeah affirmative!’

 

‘Where are you?’

 

‘In bed trying to wake up. You?’

 

‘Same. The wet spot still isn’t dry.’

 

‘Not surprising. It wasn’t that long ago we made it.’

 

‘Let me pick you up now.’

 

‘For work or for something else?’

 

‘Work; with a side of something else.’

 

‘You don’t live as close to me now as you think.’

 

‘I’ll take the drive. Just give me the address. Is she home?’

 

‘Probably at the bar, not sure though. Here:’ Harvey followed up with the house address and then typed in a separate message. ‘Is that dark blue suit of yours in the closet or cleaners?’

 

‘Closet.’

 

‘Wear it.’

 

‘Tie?’

 

‘The navy one with the gray diamonds.’

 

‘Shirt?’

 

‘Optional. But white would be fine.’

 

‘And now you’re dressing me?’

 

‘Only to bring out your eyes and ass. Stop complaining, you’re fucking hot.’

 

‘Look who’s talking.’

 

‘You’re such a freak and I love you for it. Only you would think that about me, when at most I’m just average.’

 

‘Is that all you love me for?’

 

‘Your ass.’

 

‘One track mind Bullock. Let me get dressed in my suggested suit and meet you at the house ASAP.’

 

‘Can’t wait.’

 

‘Love you.’

 

‘Love you too.’ Harvey grinned and untangled himself from the bedclothes and stood up. He read the conversation one more time before deleting it and heading towards his closet. He wasn’t aware that Scottie stood at the doorway watching him, until he took a suit out of the closet, placed it on the bed and turned to the dresser for underclothes. “Hey Hon. Just got a text about work. Jim’s on his way to pick me up.”

 

“That’s a bit of a drive, don’t you think?”

 

Harvey shrugged. “He doesn’t mind.” Harvey retrieved some clean boxers and socks, plus an under shirt. He changed out of his nightwear and Scottie stocked into the bedroom as he dressed.

 

“You don’t want the one I pressed?” Harvey sat perched on the end of the bed pulling on a sock. He was midway finished when he raised his gaze to his fiancé.

 

“I forgot about that. You’re right. I should get it.”

 

“I will. No trouble.” She left the room squeezing her hands into fists.

 

Scottie didn’t like the idea of Jim knowing where their home was let alone coming there to pick up her husband to be. She wanted to keep some distance between the two. She was furious with Jim for manipulating Harvey to return to being a police detective. Not to mention that she saw his face when he had been texting with Jim on the opposite end of the conversation. Harvey dearly valued Jim, she held no illusions, but it was more than obvious that Harvey’s affections for the man extended way past coworker. She saw the gentleness of his face, the sparkle of mischief in his eyes and immense affection.  If she were an insecure woman she would almost believe that there was something going on between them, at least on Harvey’s side of the equation. She needed more proof that Harvey’s adoration of Jim wasn’t purely platonic, and would watch both men carefully when Jim arrived to pick up Harvey.

 

Something was amiss and she was going to get to the bottom of it. While she admitted it could be just a matter of her fury with Jim for being self-centered and careless with Harvey’s life, there was the real possibility that there was more to it than just anger. Jealousy for one.  Jim had always been the topic of conversation for front in Harvey’s mind. She had noticed that on their first date but dismissed it as a mentor’s pride. Yet as time wore on she began to see a pattern in Harvey’s abject adoration of the younger male. It was hero worship; brotherly affection; true friendship for Harvey but for Jim? The relationship was merely convenient, as Jim was the center of attention between them both. Thus, Scottie had disliked Jim before ever even meeting him face to face. She replayed the day that Jim had come into the bar to speak to Harvey about coming back into the fold.

 

She had overheard the entire thing beginning with Harvey saying, _“Four lunatics and Barbara? Brother, you got no luck. I told you civilian life was better, didn’t I?”_

_“Yeah, you did. Actually, that’s kinda why I’m here.”_ Dread filled Scottie at that point. She didn’t trust Jim; she had heard so much about him from Harvey’s lips that she felt like she knew him and she deemed him selfish and reckless with her lover’s life. She didn’t appreciate that cavalier attitude and therefore took an instant dislike to him.

 

_“Yeah?”_

 

_“Yeah.”_

 

It was then that she intervened and demanded of Jim, _“What are you doing here?”_

Jim had frowned and looked at her with anger and near disgust. Yet Harvey sought to sooth the introductions over with positivity _.  “Jim, you remember Scottie, my girlfriend.”_

 

“ _Fiancé_.” Scottie corrected adamantly for both men’s benefit.

 

_“Right, my fiancé.”_

 

Jim immediately plastered on the fakest smile Scottie had ever seen and extended his hand to her which she ignored. _“Yeah. Scottie, good to see you.”_

 

Once more Harvey came to Jim’s rescue she realized instead of her own. _“Relax Honeybun. We’re just talking.”_

 

_“Oh, like hell you are. He’s going to ask you to come back to work.”_

 

Jim’s fake smile immediately vanished into annoyance at her and she knew she was right about him. _“He didn’t ask me anything.”_ Harvey insisted before casting a quick look at Jim and finishing, _“We’re just having a chat.”_

 

 _“Oh, is that right? Is that why you’re here detective?”_ Scottie demanded of Jim. _“Just to have a chat?”_ She watched Jim fidget upon the bar stool and then exchange a brief glance with her man.

 

To her Jim said a curt, _“No.”_ Yet to Harvey he said calmly, _“No, she’s right. Harvey, I need your help. The case is a bear. We’re shorthanded and I was thinking maybe you could…”_

 

Scottie had just about reached the end of her patience with Jim and rounded on him angrily _. “He has a life! The answer is no. He is not coming back.”_ The look Jim gave her was nothing short of murderous.

 

Seeing this Harvey instantly issued to her, _“Hon, I’m telling him no.”_ He looked at Jim and his tone lightened a little. _“But it’s like she said.”_ Extreme seriousness and grief etched across his features and Harvey held strict eye contact with Jim _. “I have a life.”_

 

Jim shook his head and with immense sorrow said, _“I get it. I get it.”_ He then raised his gaze to Harvey and gently issued _, “I’m happy for you. Just a thought.”_ He rose from the bar stool and turned to leave. _“Wish me luck?”_

 

Scottie had called a snarky, _“Good luck”_ after Jim and the look he gave her she was almost convinced he would storm up to her and slap her across the face, or outright deck her. One last time it was Harvey to the rescue defusing the tension between his fiancé and ex-partner with an observation about Jim’s case from the eyes of a seasoned detective. As far as Scottie had been concerned Jim couldn’t leave the bar fast enough and she hoped he never came back. He would be at the wedding of course; most likely Harvey would ask him to be the best man and she would have to endure Jim’s duplicitous face in all her wedding photos. While it was unfair to loathe a person she only knew through her fiancé and not of her own accord; Jim just had instantly rubbed Scottie the wrong way. Or perhaps it wasn’t any of those things at all, but rather her deep seeded fear that Jim was direct competition for Harvey’s attentions/affections and she would forever be on the losing side.  Platonic as they were, emotionally Harvey was very attached to Jim; their work partnership an obstacle that she thought he would ever be free from. And then he had resigned and abruptly Jim Gordon was at the peripheral of Harvey’s life. He didn’t talk about him as much, and the man never called, never texted, hadn’t come by the bar or asked for Harvey’s time in any capacity. And still Harvey waited and in due time his attentions turned to Scottie for support.

 

When she returned with the suit, Harvey took it from her and thanked her before placing a chaste kiss upon her cheek. She watched him dress, handed him a belt and helped him on with his suit jacket before checking that it was square upon his shoulders, lines clean. “This is one of the newer ones you got before you resigned.” She commented off handedly just to see what he would say in response.  “It’s lovely.”

 

“And you’re lovely for pressing it. Thanks Scottie. I wouldn’t look like I’m off the cover of GQ Magazine without you.” He checked his look in the mirror, fussing with his hair slightly and he noticed Scottie’s reflection after several seconds. Her arms were crossed and she was frowning. Harvey was notoriously lax with his physical appearance. “Hon? You all right?”

 

“I’m fine, I’m just not **happy**.”  She closed the distance between them her hands moving to her sides. “You didn’t even call me to tell me what had happened. You just grabbed your gun and badge and left. How is that supposed to make me feel Harvey? We’re in this _together_. You promised me that the night you proposed.” She placed her hands upon the lapels of his jacket and rubbed his chest slightly, her blue eyes gazing up at him. Concern and pain showed openly upon her expression.  “I understand it was a massacre, and as tragic as that is; it’s still not an excuse. This will only work if we’re both committed to one another. Are you Harvey? Are you committed to us?”

 

An unexpected lump lodged in Harvey’s throat and his gaze fell to her stomach and the floor below. Guilt; he was incredibly guilty of breaching his commitment to her and it had nothing to do with making a major vocational decision without her consent. The life altering decision was to become involved with Jim romantically while keeping his relationship with her open. Harvey swallowed and he steadied his hands by taking her arms by the elbows.  “I’m sorry.” He apologized softly attempting to find his voice. He looked up into her face and hoped she saw that he was indeed contrite. He meant every word he was saying to her and he never intended to hurt her. “When you met me, I was a cop. That job was my world. And then those murderous assholes invade **my** house and kill my brothers and there was no way in heaven or hell you could have convinced me not to go in.” He raised one of his hands from her arm to cradle a cheek in his large palm. “I need you to know that Scottie. Just like the bar is yours; a part of you and something you created; the GCPD is a part of me. Not a damn thing I can say is gonna make you understand why I **had** to do this, if not that.” His fingertips stoked up into her hair and he gently pulled her against him. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you before I left. It was just something that I had to do; had to see for myself. And I couldn’t put my back to it Scottie. What kind of man would I be if I had?”

 

“Certainly not the one I fell in love with.” Scottie relented hugging him tightly. She lay her head upon his chest. “I love you, Harvey. But if you do that to me again I _swear_ ,”

 

“I know Honey. I know.” Harvey assured her and he kissed the top of her head. Guilt flaring once more as he caught himself wondering when Jim was going to arrive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘I’m bored.’

 

It was Saturday and the text from Jim was unexpected but didn’t fail to put a smile upon Harvey’s face. ‘What do you want me to do about it?’

 

‘Let’s go out. Do something. Maybe get a real coffee at one of those non-chain places.’

 

‘Weekends are kind of tough for me Jim.’

 

‘I know you’re with her, you have to be; I get it. I’m bored and I want to see you.’

 

Harvey sighed and ran a hand back through his hair. How in the hell could he ever say no to Jim Gordon? And why did Jim have to know he was Harvey’s kryptonite? ‘There’s a place not too far down the block from the bar. I’ll tell her that’s where I’m going. To watch one of the matches and have a beer with the regulars.’

 

Jim smirked knowing that Scottie would buy it if Harvey worded it just right. He had faith that within a half hour he would be in Harvey’s company. ‘Should I meet you at the bar?’

 

‘Outside it. Give me ten minutes to tell her and leave. I’ll let you know if I can’t.’

 

‘Meet me and I’ll make it more than worth your while.’

 

‘You always do, Boy Scout. Give me 10.’

 

‘See you soon. Love you.’

 

‘Love you too.’ Harvey read the conversation one time and deleted it, walking to the laundry room where Scottie was doing the wash. He was supposed to be folding clothes on the kitchen table nearby, but the text had distracted him. Jim was distracting and there was nothing Harvey wouldn’t do to please him; apparently. Seventeen minutes later Jim received the text, ‘On my way to you now. Might have to ride the couch tonight so you better make it worth my while as advertised.’

 

‘I promise you. You won’t regret coming to see me.’ Jim responded right away feeling warmth and excitement radiate through his veins. ‘Hurry?’

 

‘Fast as I can. Love you.’

 

‘Love you too.’

 

The smile Jim flashed when Harvey walked up to him could light the entire atmosphere aflame. His blue eyes sparkled with pleasure and the two embraced quickly even though they had just seen one another the day prior at work. Jim appeared to enjoy the greetings Harvey gave him so he took full advantage of exploiting the knowledge to his gain.

 

“Where’s this coffee place?”

 

“Just up the street.” Jim informed motioning down the side walk vaguely. “I’m hoping it won’t be too busy around this time.”

 

“Let’s go check it out.” Harvey slung an arm around Jim’s shoulders and they walked in the direction of the shop. There were not very many tables inside, but they were all available and the staff seemed happy to finally have customers to serve. The two sat adjacent to one another and the staff even brought them their order instead of making them stand and wait for it, or return to the counter.  “Mmm.” Harvey mused after having his first sip. “This is good. But not worth a lie and a night on the couch.” He winked at Jim.

 

Jim’s left knee pushed against Harvey’s right beneath the table, and he leaned upon his elbows as he listed towards Harvey’s ear and whispered, “When we’re done here I’ll take you back to my place and make sure you sleep like a baby no matter where you lay your head tonight.”

 

Jim’s breath ghosting the shell of Harvey’s ear made him shiver a little and he placed an arm on the back of Jim’s chair, just on the ridge; and whispered in Jim’s ear. “Tell me why we didn’t get these to go again?”

 

Jim laughed, unguarded and pleasant. He met Harvey’s gaze happy that they were leaning so close to one another. “Because I wanted to go out. I wasn’t kidding you know.”

 

“I do know.” Harvey winked at him and his thumb stroked up Jim’s back a little and Jim could feel the heat of his touch through his hoodie and tee shirt.  Harvey paused and took a sip of coffee before declaring. “It is good though. I always forget there’s better coffee in the world than the sludge we drink at work.”

 

“Tell me about it.” Jim hedged taking a sip of his own beverage. “I never knew I could be a coffee snob.” At the abrupt laugh Harvey scoffed, Jim arched an eyebrow. “And that amuses you?”

 

“Come on Jim.” Harvey pleaded grinning from ear to ear. “Don’t make this so easy for me. Face it, you’re the snooty type, and I love you for it, but you are what you are.”

 

“I’ll give you snob.” Jim bore out from behind a clenched toothed smile and reached out for Harvey’s face with a hand. Harvey attempted to duck his touch and deflect the grab at his face, but he was only semi-successful as he was laughing too hard to care. Jim was laughing too and his chair tipped a little towards Harvey’s and the two immediately stopped their horse play and Harvey helped Jim steady the chair.

 

“You alright there Junior?”

 

“Yeah, thanks.” Jim reassured him sparing a glance for the shop staff before the two men sat shoulder to shoulder and chuckled softly and reservedly instead of rough housing.

 

Scottie had no intentions of going anywhere near her bar, however knowing that Harvey was there watching an Irish football match rather than spending time with her got under her skin more than she had initially believed. Rather than seething in anger, she thought she would rather take the constructive route and join him at the bar for a little fun as well. When she entered the bar a couple of regulars waved at her but the bartender seemed well surprised by her presence. The bartender immediately questioned what was wrong, and then when Scottie explained why she was there the expression on the other woman’s face filled her with instantaneous concern. Harvey had never arrived and the game had been on for the past half hour. Scottie contemplated calling his cell and asking him where in the hell he was and demanding to know whom he was with, but had the presence of mind to cool down a little before doing so. There could be a rational reason why he wasn’t here, a medical reason; and if there was not there would be once she got her hands upon him.

 

Taking a walk down the street she spied the coffee shop and was about to enter when her gaze caught sight of her fiancé having a rather intimate visit over coffee with none other than Jim Gordon. She watched them, how Harvey leaned into talk to Jim, how Jim made himself appear smaller and blinked up at Harvey with bedroom eyes and an adoring smile. Was she truly seeing this? Or was it her furious imagination trying to stir up drama where there was none? No, this was a coffee date and Harvey had lied to her. Lied to her to be with Jim. Scottie squared her shoulders and walked into the coffee shop, both men glanced at her entrance and had very different expressions upon their faces. Harvey’s face went white with surprise and Jim’s features narrowed in anger.

 

“Harvey, you’re here.” She greeted with a smile not letting on just how livid she was. She glared back at Jim and didn’t even greet him. “I thought you were at the bar watching the game. I decided I would join you.”

 

“Uh, yeah Honeybun.” Harvey stated siting up straighter and allowing his arm to drop off the back of Jim’s chair. “I was there, then Jim came by and we decided to take a break and have a coffee. You want one?” He motioned to the counter half rising to retrieve her a beverage.

 

“I’m fine, I just, saw you through the window and, well; why don’t we go back to the bar and I”ll have a drink there?”

 

“Sure.” Harvey indulged rising to stand. He glanced at Jim. “Come on Buddy, let’s bounce.”

 

Jim looked at Scottie and his teeth ground, jaw tensing and one eye twitched just once in anger. “No, that’s fine Harv. I’ll just stay here and finish my coffee. You two go have a nice time.” The allowance was spoken casually but given reluctantly. Jim didn’t like the smug expression upon Scottie’s features; he didn’t like her and never would as far as he was concerned. But Harvey loved her and he would be damned if he took something the man loved away from him; not now that they were together.

 

“Are you sure?” Harvey asked placing a hand upon Jim’s shoulder.

 

“Yeah, you two go. Enjoy the game. I’ll call you later.” He glared at Scottie in warning.

 

Harvey quickly ushered Scottie out the door, glancing back at Jim one final time with an apologetic and longing expression. Jim watched them go and waited a minute or two before exiting the coffee shop and turning towards home. So much for seeing Harvey on a Saturday.

 

Harvey held Scottie’s hand all the way back to the bar and opened the door for her to enter first as was his habit. They sat at a table with a good view of the television and Harvey ordered a beer while Scottie had an herbal tea. She watched Harvey with a scrutiny that caused the man to break out in a sweat but she didn’t turn her anger upon him otherwise. After all, events could have unfolded the way he had told her. Jim could have just wandered in looking for a drink and saw Harvey out the window just arriving. The bartender could not have seen Harvey due to that reason and the entire situation had been an opportunity rather than a contrived meeting. Then again, Scottie wasn’t a stupid woman and couldn’t excuse why Harvey would push so hard to go to the bar in the first place if it really wasn’t Jim he was trying to see. Harvey put his arm around Scottie and she leaned towards him and asked, “Did you plan this?”

 

“What?” Harvey looked at her in surprise. “Plan? What are you talking about?”

 

“You and Jim. Did you conspire with him to meet for coffee?” Her tone was even and calm yet Harvey was not certain if he should trust it, yet in the end risked doing so.

 

“I knew about the game, he wanted to get out of his apartment for a while and I thought; stupidly; that hanging out with him for a little while would be alright.”

 

“But you lied about it, Harvey.”

 

“Look Hon,” Harvey began shifting his gaze from the beer bottle to her gaze. “I know I did. Jim and you are oil and water. I see that, and it hurts you that he’s my best friend. I just didn’t want to upset you and yeah; lying wasn’t the way to accomplish that, but it was only going to be for an hour or two. Then I was going to come home and do something nice with you. I just wanted to help him and spend time with you on the same day. I’m sorry. I should have told you the truth from the beginning.”

 

Scottie’s lips pursed in a thin line, draining the color from them. “I don’t like that man Harvey. He only thinks about himself and puts you in danger without any consideration for you or your life. And; apparently; also turns you into a liar.”

 

Harvey looked down at the table. “I know.”

 

Scottie turned his face gently to make eye contact and said, “Tell me the truth. You owe us that. Remember? We’re engaged and in this together. I want you to act like it, and I’ll do the same. Don’t lie to me about Jim. I know he’s your best friend but he’s not going to be your **wife**. Understand?”

 

Harvey gently clutched her hand in his own and placed a few gentle kisses upon her fingers before looking at her sincerely. “I understand. And I’m sorry.”

 

Scottie leaned in to embrace him and felt her anger leech away. Jim was a bad influence upon Harvey and it wasn’t his fault he was easily manipulated by someone as talented at it as Jim was. It would be up to her to police the two from now on whether Jim liked it or not. Harvey was hers and she was not about to give him up without a fight. Emotionally or otherwise.

 

Later that evening when Harvey was taking out the garbage and chatting with a neighbor, the conversation was short lived and he took the opportunity to text Jim instead.

 

‘I’m sorry about today.’

 

Seconds later Harvey’s cell phone vibrated and he read Jim’s reply: ‘Are you sleeping on the couch tonight?’

 

‘That wasn’t mentioned so I think I’m safe. At least for now.’

 

‘Maybe you should regardless.’

 

‘The couch is nice but I’d rather be in bed.’

 

‘Mine? Invitation is still open for you to come over.’

 

‘Nice try, Junior. I better stay here if I hope to keep the peace.’

 

Jim was dying to type, “peace is over rated” in response but he knew that would only upset Harvey and perhaps land them in an argument of their own. Instead he settled for, ‘When can I see you then?’

 

‘Tuesday. Scottie has book club so we have a couple of hours free. If you’re interested.’

 

‘Tuesday is three days off from now. What about tomorrow?’

 

‘We go to church and then have brunch with a few of “our” friends. And stop laughing Jim. Yes, I sit my ass in a pew on every Sunday now.’

 

‘I wasn’t laughing. Much. But don’t you think that’s a little sacrilegious?’

 

‘I won’t tell if you don’t. It’s just a sermon and a meal. I’ve endured worse.’

 

‘Too bad I can’t be invited. I would love to see this brunch crowd and you in church!’

 

‘It’s not that thrilling.’ Harvey stopped typing for a few seconds and calculated the time he had been outside by glancing at his wrist watch. He had a few spare minutes if he played his cards right. ‘I want to see you too; before Tuesday but I don’t think it’ll be possible.’

 

‘I had to try.’

 

‘I know you did. I love you.’

 

‘Love you too. So, this is all I have of you for right now?’

 

‘I was only taking out the trash.’

 

‘Tell her you took a wrong turn on the way down the drive way.’

 

‘Shut up and type something sexy.’

 

‘I’m saving all of that material for Tuesday.’

 

‘Bastard!’

 

‘Love me?’

 

‘Always. Goodnight Junior.’

 

‘Good night Harv.’

 

Harvey sighed plaintively and pushed his cell phone into the front pocket of his jeans. He would have to delete the conversation once he got inside the house. He missed Jim and wished events had turned out differently during the day, but at the very least Scottie didn’t seem to be angry with him any longer.

 

For a while at least.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The more time Jim spent with Harvey the more he wanted to be with him. He began making faces whenever Harvey brought up Scottie, or explained why he couldn’t see Jim on this or that day of the week. Resentment grew with each passing week and Jim was reaching a breaking point. He was concerned that he might do something reckless like tell Harvey to leave Scottie altogether, or begin hanging out at her bar some nights just to watch Harvey with her. He had already told Lee Tompkins he was no longer going to see her, as there was someone in his life that he needed to be with instead. While she had not been pleased by the breakup of sorts, she did appreciate his honesty with her. If she had only known that he was seeing this “someone” simultaneously to dating her she might not have been as kind to Jim in the end.

 

For her part Scottie worked to keep the two men apart. While she didn’t invent crises’, she did make more and more demands upon Harvey’s time. She always attempted to regulate the amount of time he spent on the phone with Jim most evenings after he got home from work, or on the weekends. While she didn’t always catch him texting to Jim, she did try not to leave him in his own company for very long. It was exhausting but if she was going to fight for her man she was going to use every advantage she had at her disposal. She felt she was putting Jim in his proper place, and while Harvey’s bond with him might be platonic only, she wasn’t convinced that Jim didn’t have something more in mind. If they were “just friends” why would he glare at her so? She knew she was frustrating him, but if Harvey didn’t show signs of fatigue and only Jim suffered, she would continue as she had been.

 

During a day trip to the hardware store for some supplies for the bar she ran into Ron Turnwell, the man that Harvey had helped a few weeks prior finish the flooring remodel of his bathroom along with other small projects. When she asked about the outcome of the finished bathroom and the subsequent approval of the mother in law, his look of utter surprise floored her. When he explained that Harvey hadn’t been by to help him with any home improvement tasks Scottie’s heart sank to the floor. There could be only one explanation for the lies; Jim: Harvey had used Ron’s projects as excuses to be away from her and go to see Jim. Upset and desperately back tracking to cover her mistake, she excused herself and exited the hardware store without making a single purchase. Catching her breath, she wondered how many other times Harvey had lied to her; telling her he was doing one thing when clearly, he was hanging out with Jim Gordon. But what were they up to together? Had she been wrong all along? Had Harvey’s emotional attachment grown into a physical one? Was her husband fucking his best friend? Scottie didn’t want to believe he would hurt her like this, but the more she considered the past few weeks the less physical he had been with her. He kissed her, held her, showed her affection but they had only made love a handful of times when before he had been much more attentive.

 

Sick at heart Scottie knew that she had no choice than to confront Harvey once and for all. Perhaps it wasn’t fair to ambush him once he walked in the door from work, but by the time Harvey did arrive home she was fuming and crushed by his potential infidelity.

 

The smile from Harvey’s face vanished when the dense atmosphere of the kitchen abruptly captured his notice. Scottie had been waiting for him to exit the garage into the house, arms crossed upon her chest, expression livid. There was a part of Harvey that hoped she was angry about anything other than his affair with Jim, but the pain that tinged her gaze subconsciously told him all he needed to know. His lies had been discovered.

 

“Hey, Honeybunny.” He closed the door and moved towards her, leaning in to place a kiss upon her cheek but she jerked her head away and pushed him back with her hands firmly upon his chest.

 

“Don’t you Honeybunny me, Harvey Bullock!” The pain in her gaze was burned through by her fury. “Ron Turnwell had an interesting story about how you **didn’t** help him with the bathroom, or anything else for that matter. Where were you Harvey? Why are you lying to me? Was it because of Jim? Were you with _him_?” Scottie demanded taking a step forward into Harvey’s personal space. “Why is it when it comes to that man you lie, and promise me you’ll never do so again, then you’re right back to lying the first chance you get? Do you think I’m stupid Harvey? Do you think I don’t have eyes in my head?”

 

Harvey backed away from her groping for words. “Scottie, I- yes, alright? I was with Jim those times I told you I was with Ron. We just wanted to hang out for a couple of hours and you know, not have to worry about you being upset. I know you don’t like him, but he’s my best friend.”

 

“And I’m your fiancé!” Scottie spat smacking him a few times on the biceps. There was not a lot of venom to the blows but Harvey flinched all the same, more from her flailing than any sting. “I’m the one you should never lie to! Friends come and go but a wife? Harvey that’s sacred! Or at least it’s **supposed** to be. Why don’t you respect that? What is about you two that makes you act like this? What does he tell you to do?”

 

“Nothing! He doesn’t tell me to do anything.” Harvey defended rubbing a hand across his forehead. Jim had never asked Harvey to lie; he had only asked to spend time with him, so in that sense the lying was all upon Harvey’s shoulders and they all knew it. Harvey had chosen to be dishonest and now he was paying for the fall out he had wrought.

 

“Then why do you lie to me Harvey? Why?”

 

“This!” Harvey exclaimed motioning between them with up raised palms.  “Exactly this! You hate Jim, I get that. But I shouldn’t feel like I can’t mention him around you, or see him anymore because of it! He’s my **best** friend; I **love** him and you’re going to have to accept that I’m going to see him from time to time outside of work. Please! Just get right with that and leave me in peace, woman!”

 

“Peace? I’ll give you a piece of my mind, you lying bastard! I’m your wife to be. I should be your priority, not Jim. It seems like every time you and I have something planned you suddenly have a phone call to take or text. I know now that it’s him. Why do you spend more time with him than your own fiancé?”

 

“Scottie,” Harvey warned rubbing both temples with his fingers, eyes closing as his jaw tensed.

 

Scottie smacked him again and his eyes snapped open as she screamed up into his face, “Why did you even ask me to marry you?”

 

Harvey groaned, anger bursting from him as words flew out of his mouth in a decisive roar. “Because I can’t have him and I didn’t think you would say yes!”  Shock registered upon Scottie’s expression as Harvey realized what he had said. A second later a sharp slap raked across his left cheek hard enough to turn his head.  Harvey’s fury lowered a few levels and he moved to take her by the arms but once more she flinched and twisted away from him. “Scottie,”

 

“No!” She hissed as tears swelled behind her eyes. “I should have known. You choose him over me because it’s him you love. Jim, Jim, all it ever was with you was _Jim_! Do you know how pathetic that is, Harvey? Pinning for a man that could never love you back? He isn’t capable of it. He only loves himself and that’s all he’ll ever have; _himself_.”

 

“And **me**.” Harvey stated emphatically. “And you’re wrong Scottie; he does love me. He tells me every day, if not in those exact words than in some way.”

 

“Then why are you still here with me?” Scottie demanded her breath coming short as she tried to stifle the sobs of grief filling her chest. She should have known all along that Jim was whom Harvey truly loved.

 

“Because I _do_ love you, Scottie.”

 

She shook her head. “Don’t give me that. And don’t tell me you know how blessed you are to have had me in your life, and you were never worth a damn otherwise.” She predicted of his self-deprecating manner. Harvey’s lips snapped shut and she knew she was right. “You’re just settling, aren’t you? You didn’t think you could have him; just as you said; then when I came along you jumped at the chance to mine some sort of happiness out of life.” Scottie crossed her arms over her chest more to embrace herself for comfort than to display her anger.  “When were you ever going to tell me Harvey? Were you? Were you ever going to tell me that I was your second choice?”

 

Harvey shook his head. “There’s no point of that Scottie. All it would do is hurt you and I _never_ , _ever_ wanted to do that.”

 

“Then why are you having an emotional affair with another man?” Scottie demanded, then the reality of the situation clicked in her mind and she closed her eyes, bringing one of her hands up to her mouth and whispering, “Oh god.” Just before making contact. Tears pushed from beneath her eye lids and she shook her head, opening her eyes and looking at him. “How could you? Fuck him and then come home and touch me? You lying, disgusting, excuse for shit!” Scottie turned away from him and hurried to the bedroom, slamming the door closed behind her. Harvey heard her begin to sob. He went to the door and knocked, trying to speak to her through it without coming in but she only locked the door and screamed at him to get out of her house. What choice did he have but to comply?

 

Harvey pulled to the curb half way down the street and sat in the car and cried for a little while, feeling the pain, hating himself for what he had done to her, and wishing he had been smart enough to never involve her in the first place. When he sufficiently calmed he rang Jim.

 

“Harvey? I was just thinking about you.” Harvey could hear Jim’s welcoming smile on the opposite end of the conversation.

 

“Jim,” He pleaded softly. “She knows. She threw me out of the house and she _knows_.”

 

There was no hesitation on Jim’s part and he issued a tender, “Come over. I’m right here waiting and you can tell me everything when you get here.”

 

“Thank you.” Harvey could barely utter. He rested his forehead against a hand upon the steering wheel. They exchanged short good byes and Harvey composed himself further before starting the car once more and drove straight to Jim’s apartment. Harvey was in Jim’s arms the instant the other male had opened the door and they stood in the entry way like that for a little while, Jim managing at some point to close the door.

 

Jim kissed Harvey on the forehead, cradling Harvey’s head in his palms before pressing their foreheads together. “You want to go sit?” Harvey nodded a little and Jim released him. “Go on. I’ll be right there.’ Jim paused only to bolt the door and fetch Harvey a bottle of water from the refrigerator, then joined Harvey upon the couch. Easily he pulled Harvey to him and listened as Harvey started and stopped until the entire argument had emerged from his memory. To his credit Jim had to struggle not to criticize and judge Scottie, for Harvey’s sake he left all his comments neutral and just permitted his lover to vent his emotions. While it broke his heart to see Harvey so distraught there was a large part of him that was ecstatic that Scottie would be exiting Harvey’s life once and for all.

 

“Maybe it’s for the best; we’re finally out in the open.” Jim mused softly stroking his fingers through Harvey’s hair. The older male had his head against Jim’s chest, resting just beneath his chin. He felt miserable and being close to Jim like this was quite comforting. “I mean, you always hated lying.” He had never said so but Jim suspected he did by Harvey’s expressions alone when he spoke of Scottie.

 

“Is that what you want Jim? For us to be together?” Harvey raised his head and made eye contact with Jim, still feeling the other male’s fingers in his hair. “What about Leslie?”

 

“What about her?” Jim asked nearly incredulous. “I cut it off with her weeks ago.”

 

“Why didn’t you **tell** me?”

 

“You never asked and, well, I thought that’s how you wanted things. You wanted to be with Scottie and me to be with someone else.”

 

Harvey shook his head. “No! That’s not what I _ever_ wanted. I want **you** ; just you; no one else for either of us.” Harvey exclaimed passionately. “Jim, I love you. All I ever wanted was for you to feel the same about me.”

 

Jim smiled and touched Harvey’s face. “Good thing I do then, huh?” He leaned towards Harvey. “I should have asked you, but I figured of the two of us if you didn’t say anything that was how you wanted things to be.” Their lips brushed and Harvey moaned a little and pushed into the kiss. Hands roamed as the kiss progressed and by the time it severed both males were panting and hard. “Does this mean that you’ll move in with me?”

 

“Move in? Hell, I’ll marry you if you want.” Harvey gushed with a breathless laugh.

 

“First things first.” Jim stated hands tangled in Harvey’s hair as he pulled his lover in for another kiss. “But I promise to let you know when I’m ready.”

 

“You **better**.” Harvey’s heart soared.


End file.
